


Cherry Wine

by NicolasZoldyck



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Angst, Domestic Violence, I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-13
Updated: 2020-04-13
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:54:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23624188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NicolasZoldyck/pseuds/NicolasZoldyck
Summary: "I love you." Gon smiled, swaying with the music that wafted its way through his house. Their house. Killua and Gon."I love you." Killua responded in kind, relishing in the feeling of his lover's arms. They danced in their kitchen area, the small radio they owned playing whatever was on.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 4
Kudos: 43





	Cherry Wine

**Author's Note:**

> "It looks ugly, but it's clean,  
> Oh momma, don't fuss over me.  
> The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine  
> Open hand or closed fist would be fine  
> The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine"
> 
> ~Cherry Wine  
> Hoizer

"I love you." Gon smiled, swaying with the music that wafted its way through his house. Their house. Killua and Gon.

"I love you." Killua responded in kind, relishing in the feeling of his lover's arms. They danced in their kitchen area, the small radio they owned playing whatever was on.

"I'm sorry." Gon whispers into white hair.

"For what?" Killua snorted. Gon shrugged, wrapping his arms around Killua's waist tighter. "Don't be sorry for nothing, stupid." Killua snorted, kissing the other man on the cheek. 

"Okay." Gon leans into the kiss. They danced slowly, ignoring the tempo of the music in favor of their own rhythm. 

Killua's heart felt too heavy for his chest, like it had grown in size and weight in the years he was free from his parents. Gon was his sun: bright, inviting, warm. Sometimes bright enough to blind. Sometimes hot enough to burn. But Gon was never like that with him, not in the full force of his fury. No, to him Gon was like the light that led him out of the container he was forced into. Like the breeze bending the cool grass to tickle his bare feet. Like the soft blanket thrown over his shoulders on winter's night, filled with hot chocolate and laughter.

Killua loved him. Loves him. Gon.

He felt it before he even knew what love meant. Felt the passion for the boy before he knew what it meant to be passionate. The race of his heart when Gon looked at him. The flush of his cheeks when one said something embarrassing in public. Killua loved him with all his being. The young boy in green shorts, boots to match, and a smile that worked miracles. The teen who stormed into his house to demand Silva Zoldyck let his son be his friend. The man who allowed Killua to follow around until they knew what they wanted. The lover who reached out his hand for Killua. Gon was all he needed. His whole world. 

His.

The Gon of harsh words, of cold eyes, of quick stinging movements. Still his. Even when Gon's eyes burned like frostbite and he could set the world alight with blue flames.

Gon was Killua's and in turn Killua was Gon's.

It was hard to remember the beginning. The moment Killua began walking on eggshells. So, unlike the soft grass of summer or the blanket over his shoulder. It burned like hot metal. Bled like glass under the skin. 

White and hot. Killua’s face burned.

Gon stopped moving entirely.

Killua smiled, ignoring the sting of his lip.

"Killua, I-" the heat left his lover's voice. Gon pressed his arms to his sides, shoulders slumped, stance unstable.

"I'm fine." Killua pulled away from the man without thinking about it. "Look it stopped bleeding already. Don't worry about it." Killua sounded tired, even in his own ears, but he strained his lip by smiling at Gon, hoping his eyes didn’t give him away. His face felt hot around the corner of his mouth and cheek. Gon's clenched fists and loosened them in an attempt to release the previous tension.

"Are you sure? I didn't mean to- I mean, well…" Gon stopped trying to speak. They stood in silence as Killua gingerly explored his broken lip and the area surrounding it with his middle finger. Blood had already dried on the corner of his mouth and the ache of a bruise settled itself under his skin. Gon continued to look at the floor by Killua's feet, his breathing shallow. Killua missed the color of Gon's eyes. Missed the blinding light of his smile. Missed the soft touches. Missed the laughs as they tumbled around. He missed Gon.

Killua’s hands twitched toward his lover before coming to a rest at his sides.

"Yeah." Gon looked up. "It doesn't hurt." Killua lied.

"If you're sure.” Gon's eyes focused on Killua's shoulder. The tattered green sweatshirt hung over Killua's thin shoulder.

"I'm gonna shower, okay?" Killua broke the silence.

"Yeah, yes- okay." Gon, broke from his stupor, retreated from Killua like a child from a wild animal, the back of his leg hit one of their dining room chairs. His eyes wide but not looking at Killua's face.

"Okay." Killua trudged to their room and closed the bedroom door leaving Gon in the dining room alone.

Killua's heart picked up, his fingers began shaking. He felt like curling up on himself and crying. The buzzing of his body spread like wildfire from his stomach to his limbs. His ears rang.

Panic.

_Or adrenaline._

They tended to taste the same.

Killua took long strides to the bathroom only stopping when he was in front of the mirror attached to the sink. He looked tired, dark circles under his eyes. His white hair needed to be cut, the bangs hung in front of his eyes, almost touching the tip of his nose. The sweatshirt, a gift from Gon, hung loose on him. His boxers barely peeked out from the bottom of the sweatshirt. The sink cut off most of his legs, leaving only a sliver of milky white to be seen in the mirror. A couple day old hickey stood out against the white skin of his neck and collarbone. It was fading, yet the tones and hues of a bruise were easily visible. His bottom lip swelled, dry blood caking the split lip he wore. A bruise was already forming around his swollen lips on the corner of his mouth. Hues of dark purple increasingly making themselves known. The same as the hickey.

Lover.

_Ownership._

Killua threw his clothes off and turned the water on hot. He stood under the stream of water, the cold water slowly turning hit. He let it burn the skin on his back. Gon was angry at him. It was his fault. He deserved the hit, just like every time before. He wanted it. The pain. The blame. He was why Gon was furious enough to let his anger control him. Why the fist was thrown. It was all his fault. He messed up.

_He'd do it again. Mess up. Cause he loved Gon. Loved the attention._

Gon hadn't been home as often. He'd been with other people. This was Gon's first night home. He'd do it again. He'd step on the glass floor and wait for it to hurt. Gon would be there. Gon would come. That was okay. This was okay.

_It was good._

Killua tried to remember what happened, but couldn't think of anything but the way Gon's hand met his cheek. The burn of his lover's eyes. The clench of his jaw. The strain of his muscles. The curl of his fist.

_It was good._

Killua shoved the drain stopper into its spot, watching the water from the shower head fill the bath. He looked at his legs, the shins and feet turning red from the heat of the water. He sat down in the clear water. His face felt numb. His body felt hot. The steam curling off the top of the water was heavy, like thick humidity, and breathing it was getting suffocating. He delicately dunked his face under the water, holding his breath till his lungs screamed. He pulled his face out of the water and took a deep breath, blood swished around in the water where his mouth had been.

The door slowly opened. Gon walked in, looked at Killua's face, and then down at the water tracking the thin curl of blood.

"I love you."

"I love you."

"I'm sorry."

"For what? Don't be sorry for nothing, stupid."

"Okay."


End file.
